By Elaine Obran

It can happen anywhere, at any time. And while it may look different for every child, the consequences of online bullying almost always extend beyond the screen and into real life.

The rise in social media use among young Australians has meant that cyberbullying is an issue that’s here to stay. According to a report by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, one in five young Australians have experienced bullying, including online and in 2020, 44 per cent of teens had at least one negative online experience in the past six months.

The approach to tackling these numbers in Australia has been polarising. In 2024 the Australian Federal Government passed its social media ban for under 16s with bipartisan support.

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese attributed his push for the ban to the harm caused to “our kids,” referring to the thousands of families who had called for government support. While some experts have encouraged the ban, others are unconvinced that restricting usage  will be an effective approach.

Dr Dave Pasalich is an associate professor of clinical psychology at the School of Medicine and Psychology at the Australian National University (ANU). Pasalich says he isn’t trying to sway this debate but wants to highlight the seriousness of this type of mistreatment.

“Online bullying can surround the child or young person 24/7 and so, it can be much more pervasive in its nature, or it can also be more widespread in terms of consequences.

“It can also have a legacy of potentially staying there for a longer period if it’s embedded in the young person’s social network, which can lead to more severe consequences.

Pasalich says there are potential signs of cyberbullying that parents can look out for in their children.

“The signs that might indicate cyberbullying would be things like shifts in mood or behaviour. For instance, the young person becoming more withdrawn shows signs of anxiety, depression, loneliness, lowering of self-esteem, and they might have trouble sleeping.”

But much like doomscrolling on social media, the bad news doesn’t stop there. Cyberbullying can severely affect multiple facets of a child’s life – including friendships and mental and physical health.

For parents, the difficulty part lies in correctly identifying the cause of their child’s distress. 

“In general, these are all symptoms of stressful life events, and they’re not necessarily specific to cyberbullying, so it’s important to be able to identify that it’s occurred,” says Pasalich.

“Any parent will tell you that their child can suddenly change their mood, and that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve been cyberbullied. There could be different reasons for that, which is why noticing the correlation between that behaviour and social media is so important.”

Once that connection is made, parents should be careful about how they react.

“First of all, it’s important that as parents we stay calm and manage our own reactions,” explains Pasalich.

“Understandably, learning that our child has been cyberbullied can cause a range of emotions in us as parents. We don’t want our child to misunderstand the situation and feel like they’re in trouble for being bullied online. If we were to show an angry reaction, they might then feel they’re at fault, and they might misunderstand the situation based on how we’re feeling.

“We don’t want to model an aggressive response. It’s really important to step back and make more of an informed decision about the next steps.”

Pasalich says parents should be careful to walk the line between being protective and intrusive.

“Research on parent-child relationships tells us that parents are more likely to learn about a young person’s issues when there is trust.

“When a parent is overly controlling in their attempts to solicit information, that strategy can sometimes backfire. A positive parent-child relationship actually has a protective effect against cyberbullying.

“Of course, there’s always tension in navigating that right balance between respecting their autonomy and providing safety boundaries. Once parents are able to stay calm, they are in a better place to problem solve collaboratively around this difficult situation.”

Looking for a solution may involve speaking to a teacher, blocking an individual’s accounts or escalating harmful behaviour to the eSafety commissioner. Beyond these resources, parents should feel empowered to send a real-life message to their children about online safety – preferably before they have access to a phone.

“The best thing to do is prevention,” says Pasalich.

“Before a child reaches adolescence, it’s important to have these conversations early, talk about being online and have an online safety plan. You could ask, ‘what are your views about that? What are the pros and cons? What can we do at home to navigate this?’

“Again, it’s really inviting that young person into making decisions together. We’re sending that message that ‘hey, I’m getting involved in your life because I care about you’.”

This article was first published by ANU Reporter.